Here are three questions before we begin:
- How are you feeling right now?
- Can you name the emotions that are clouding your mind and crushing your heart?
- Can you commit to moving on, away from a place of misery to begin anew, to reset and to develop your best possible self?
By taking one step at a time you can eliminate the negative scripts that cause you to feel that you are worthless. This will help you to understand and process your feelings of personal disgust. Doing so will let you challenge the notion that you are unlovable, and contradict your belief that others are better than you.
Your value is worth much more than how you view it with vision that is limited by your present circumstance.
Being angry, hating yourself after going through a hurtful experience – such as the end of a relationship or a publicly humiliating gaffe – is a reaction that is quite normal. But what happens to you afterward holds the key to determining whether you need help.
While there are fortunate individuals who find no trouble bouncing back after experiencing rejection, there are others who need help to process their feelings and thoughts about the situation.
In these instances, there is a need to carry out ‘Emotional First Aid' in the aftermath of rejection. It is important to recognize and treat emotional pain before it affects the quality of your life.
Emotional first aid helps in enhancing learning, as well as mindfulness of the situation. It also allows an individual to develop the ability to follow and monitor responses that can cause self-harming thoughts and behavior.
The following tips can help a person manage their emotional self, overcome rejection, and prevent being poisoned by self-rejection.
Don't Magnify the Negative Emotions
Train yourself to compartmentalize feelings by drawing insight into the proper way to handle issues in your life. This does not imply that you should bottle your feelings up. Instead, stop overthinking and becoming disproportionately emotional over problems with other people. BREATHE and find peace in your present moment.
Unlock Your Full Potential: Explore our Personal Development Checklists
Do an Activity that Promotes Self-Care
Rejection often causes people to respond by brooding over their perceived inadequacies and imperfections until their measure of self-worth becomes so beaten up; it becomes unrecognizable. Instead of harassing yourself by repeatedly thinking what an awful person you are, that you can't do anything well, or that nobody is going to like you because of how ugly you look, rebel against this negative thinking by getting a new haircut and your nails done.
Eat healthy foods instead of pigging out on junk food. Hit the gym and break some sweat. Change your environment by traveling to a beautiful place that inspires peace in your heart. Or, you can engage in a worthwhile hobby that symbolically helps you to cope such as painting, writing, fishkeeping, or gardening.
Hopefully, you also have the option to connect with positive people who know you and believe in you. By engaging in activities that nurture, and that help you remember who you are, you will gradually build the inner strength that you need to confront and recognize the lesson in this rejection event that you need to pay attention to.
Set Aside Time to Think and Be Mindful
After a well-deserved pampering and when you are no longer angry, you are now more capable of thinking rationally about your situation. Use this period to devote time to understanding the cause, effect, and message of the rejection. Be honest and objective to yourself while undergoing this educational process. Use a journal to record your feelings and insights.
The objective of this reflective exercise is to enhance understanding and perspective.
By being attentive to our emotional needs after being wounded by other people, we can end further damage by preventing destructive responses such as self-rejection from overpowering our ability to think straight about our situation.
Once we completely understand the nature of rejection as well as the extent of what it can do to our lives, we can use this information to improve our perception of the situation, to use it as a leverage for self-love, and to develop self-awareness essential for maturity and adulthood.
Intentionally or unintentionally, others can cause us emotional harm. None of us needs to add to this psychological distress by compounding it with our own unbalanced view of ourselves. This is a time for genuine self-love and self-care.