Everyone experiences anger from time to time. There’s really no getting around it. Even the happiest of people will find themselves triggered every now and then. It’s human nature. Not everything is pleasing and not everything promotes joy.
It’s during those times we need to reach a little deeper than the anger and frustration itself and discover the cause. We need to know the triggers to get better control of our reactions. Imagine a life where anger didn’t turn into an entire blood-boiling, explosive experience. A life where frustration didn’t get the best of us and we were able to talk ourselves down from the ledge.
Let’s take a look at some common triggers for anger and frustration, as well as some excellent ways to lessen their effects on our day-to-day life.
What Triggers You?
Triggers for anger and frustration are unique to each person. Triggers can also be deeply enhanced depending on the situation. For instance, during a circumstance where emotions are high, if anger is triggered, it will likely be intense anger. Additionally, traumatic experiences from the past could cause anger and frustration to be more intense when triggered.
Survivors of domestic abuse might feel incredibly frustrated or angered if someone is treating them disrespectfully, or they perceive it as such. Likewise, someone who grew up with alcoholic parents might be extremely angered if they suspect their partner is hiding a drinking problem. As you can see, the past is just as important as the present when identifying possible triggers for anger and frustration.
Have you ever felt annoyed or angry when something unfair happens? It might be as simple as someone cutting in front of you at the grocery store checkout line, but it changed your whole mood. If you’ve worked really hard on a project for work and your boss doesn’t seem to notice, that might set you off as well.
Here’s the deal. Life is unfair. A huge key to happiness is recognizing and accepting that fact. The quicker you learn to accept that you are only in control of your reaction you’ll be a much happier person.
It is unreasonable to expect that external events or the actions of other people should always be in accordance with your wishes or expectations. Mostly they are random and do not have the aim of causing you frustration or anger. They just are. What matters is your response.
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Misuse of Your Time
There’s no getting around it; we are bound to do some multitasking in one form or another throughout the day. This is a busy world and we are busy people. Time stops for no one, but when there is a blatant misuse of your time, you might get upset or even enraged. It can seem that our friends and family have very little respect for our time, especially when incessantly texting.
If you’re chronically rushing and then get delayed even further by things outside of your control (traffic, long lines, etc.), it probably really gets under your skin. Likewise, when someone else disrespects your valuable time, it probably doesn’t leave a good taste in your mouth. When you’ve set up a meeting the other party should at least have the decency to be on time, right?
If you’re constantly being interrupted, set better boundaries. The thing about your phone… you don’t have to answer it or reply to texts immediately. Carry on doing what you’re doing, and let your fans wait in line until you have time.
If you loathe traffic and long lines, adjust your schedule so these things aren’t as damaging to your mood for the day. When ohters aren’t on time for meetings, make a note of it but don’t let your blood get to a boiling point. Make good use of the time you have left with them instead of focusing on things you can’t change.
Liars and Cheaters
Humans are an interesting group, to say the least. Cognitive thinking abilities give them all sorts of free space to do as they wish. The thing is, there are consequences for all behaviors, good and bad. Liars and cheaters are everywhere, and some of these people operate as if they have no idea that it hurts others. Or maybe they know it and don’t really care, and it can be infuriating.
It’s impossible to live a life without running into a few bad apples along the way. Sometimes we can even learn some pretty valuable lessons from those who are less than authentic. That doesn’t mean you have to become angry and jaded. You can choose to take the hit, learn from it, and keep moving forward.
If you haven’t noticed a pattern yet, frustration and anger are typically centered around a loss of control. You aren’t going to be able to control every aspect of every detail of your life, especially other people. It’s physically impossible. What’s more, when you lose your cool for whatever reason, you aren’t even in control of your own emotions and reactions.
Never getting angry or frustrated isn’t the goal here. But if you pay greater attention and learn more about your potential triggers, you can lessen negative responses and their sometimes unfortunate effects. Figure out what sets you off so you can be better prepared for the next time, and stop it before it escalates.