Do you ever feel like you're being too submissive? Do you often find yourself saying "Yes! No problem" to every request from people, when deep inside you are crying out, wanting to refuse?
Over-extending yourself to favors or being too compliant is not an atrocious trait. However, if it's becoming more and more frequent to a point it affects your well-being, then it's a completely different story. Learn to say "No," without guilt or fear. Being too dutiful can actually hamper your path to success.
You need to know the importance of mastering the art of saying "no." Here's why:
Builds Respectful Relationships
Do you get that feeling of being compelled because we don't want to disappoint our friends? So you keep on nodding "yes" to their requests (demands?). You let the fact that they are your friend cause you to put their needs over yours because you want them to be happy. This mindset requires modification.
Also, if you comply with every request, there will often be a tendency for the asking behavior to increase. This can result in a real possibility of them habitually disrespecting your time or your needs. And, when you finally dare to say "no," they may then take it as an affront.
In every relationship, the benefit of saying "no" is to set boundaries. It is also important for your friends to understand that you will help them if you can, but you must prioritize your own needs first, and part of that may mean you have to refuse sometimes.
Helps You Be True to Yourself
It is essential to remain true to yourself and to your goals to maintain a healthy emotional well-being. By saying "no," part of it is rejecting opportunities or tasks that don't align with your principles. Anything that alters your core values may affect your future goals and outlook in life. Hence, when you do things that you heartily like, work will be of higher quality. So, be true to yourself.
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You're Not Liable to Any Individual's Reaction
Many times, we say "yes" due to a fear of another's response. This fear is often a result of wanting to be liked by others, and this desire can be very detrimental. If you're too fixated on fulfilling others' happiness, you may miss yours.
If you think it through clearly, pleasing others is not your job. Not to mention, it takes a lot of time and effort! How much time have you wasted pleasing others? What did you get out if it, really?
Remember, you can make others happy, but don't make it a priority or a job. You are not responsible for another's feelings. This realization will open up your mind. It will help you make a conscious decision on how you want others to see the authentic you. That is, doing it for your own good and not just to satisfy them.
How to Say No Without Offending Others
We've already explained the compelling importance of mastering the art of saying no. Now, it's time to practice how to say it civilly.
Don't be indecisive; stand by your decision.
Once you've already turned down any favor, be firm and stick to it. This is one of the effective ways of saying no, being firm in a benevolent way.
Start practicing with yourself.
Before starting the art of refusal to others, begin with yourself. Resist the urge of buying unnecessary stuff. As per research, it's easier to say no once you bolster your willpower with some practice. The first times are the most difficult, and it gets easier every time.
Don't be too hasty with your response.
It's a known fact how impetuous people are. Decisions made under time pressure lead to regret later. Always take time to decide. Contemplate things, and weigh the pros and cons.
Learn to be straightforward.
When saying no, take an assertive voice tone, without appearing intimidating. Make it apparent enough for them to see that you're not available, but exhibit some empathy suitable to the nature and tone of the request.
Offer some alternative.
Where possible, it pays to provide an alternative to someone after saying "no." By doing so, he/she will think that you've put some thought into your refusal, rather than an automatic response. Maybe you know someone else who might help, or another method.
Saying no can be very challenging, we all know that. But, if by doing so it means a positive outcome on your part, then it is high time to re-evaluate your approach. Make your success a priority. Don't let others hinder you by taking advantage.