If you do something wrong, it is only natural, and honorable, to say sorry and own up to your mistake. However, if you find yourself apologizing for almost everything and anything, even when you didn't do anything wrong, it's time to make a conscious effort to stop. Quit saying sorry for the things that you shouldn't be apologizing for in the first place, including your flaws and imperfections.
Why Do People Say Sorry When They Shouldn't?
Often, people tend to over-apologize because of their personalities or their personal background. You may have grown in a strict environment, with authoritarian parents or stringent schooling. You may have experienced emotional abuse or suffering from anxiety. You may have a high level of compassion for other people, be overly agreeable, or submissive.
Research has shown, though, that regardless of your background or personality traits, over-apologizing is often anchored to one root cause – wanting to build trust. However, you may be more aware of it when it comes to your flaws or imperfections.
You may tend to always say sorry for not being able to cook what you consider a perfect meal, or for not being articulate enough, or for being too strict with your children, or not strict enough. It could be because you want to tone down your authoritative voice because you think it will make people come to you or you want other people to feel better. At its extreme, you are essentially sorry that you are who you are.
Why You Must Stop Saying Sorry Now
When you are saying sorry for your flaws and imperfections, you basically show that you don't love yourself. You lose self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Instead of people looking up to you, they unconsciously start to think less of you. When you stop apologizing for your imperfections, you'll see some amazing changes in your life.
When you feel sorry all the time, you may often have difficulty getting to sleep at night. You may find yourself lying awake, replaying in your head what you've said wrong, what you could've done instead, what you wish you have, and so on. Learn to stop apologizing and sleep soundly at night, knowing that you did what you could, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for that.
You Become More Resilient
Accept that you are not perfect, just like everyone else, and that's why you can also make mistakes and fail at something. When you stop apologizing for it, you change the way you see failures. As a result, you become more resilient. You're more ready to bounce back whenever you fall, and you start to leverage your weaknesses and make them your strengths.
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You Appreciate Compliments
When you feel sorry for all your flaws, it becomes difficult to appreciate any praise or compliment that you receive. When you stop feeling that way, you start to feel worthy of such compliments. You feel deserving, and that boosts your confidence.
You Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Take Risks
Dwelling on your imperfections can hold you back. You're afraid to get out of your comfort zone to try new things. When you change the way you look at your flaws, you will take much bigger risks. That's because you are not afraid to fail, and you stop worrying so much about what other people might say about you. Don't let other people's standards define who you are and dictate what you can or can't do.
You Love Yourself For Who You Are
Sometimes it can be hard to open up to other people because you don't feel as though you deserve it. You could even be blocking a prospective partner just because you think you're not good enough. Stop feeling sorry for all your flaws, and you'll be better able to enter meaningful relationships, not only with a potential life partner but also with great people you can call best friends.
You are enough. You are beautiful. You are unique and exceptional. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you don't have all the ideal qualities based on social standards and other people's opinions. When you stop worrying about how you can be Mr. or Ms. Perfect, you achieve a lot of things, both in your personal and professional life. Celebrate yourself today and every day!