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Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Identifying Signs of Poor EQ in Your Behavior

A myriad of studies have revealed that individuals with average intelligence quotients (IQs) outperform those with the highest IQs around 70% of the time. This has been perplexing in a society that has traditionally placed high value on IQ, assuming it to be the primary determinant of success.

However, recent decades of research have shown that the real catalyst for success, and the characteristic that distinguishes outstanding individuals from the rest, is emotional intelligence. This refers to the capacity to recognize, comprehend, and control one's emotions, as well as to affect the emotions of others.

The good news is that EQ can be enhanced and cultivated. While it may be easier to measure IQ, there is currently no standardized test that can assess EQ as accurately.

Nevertheless, despite the quantification of EQ being different from that of IQ, a person's level of emotional intelligence can be discerned through their behavioral patterns and traits.

Here are some key indicators of how individuals with poor emotional intelligence typically respond and behave.

Easily Overwhelmed by Stress

Individuals with poor emotional intelligence often suppress their feelings and avoid addressing them until they reach a boiling point. If you find yourself getting stressed out over trivial matters, it could signify that you're not effectively managing your emotions by resolving them one at a time.

This can lead to a state of persistent stress and general overwhelm. Stress is an unavoidable aspect of life, and learning to live with it in a healthy manner is crucial. Enhancing emotional intelligence is vital to achieving this.

Struggle with Expressing Themselves and Setting Boundaries

Emotional intelligence is fundamental to striking a balance between kindness and empathy, and the essential ability to assert oneself and set boundaries with others. Like stress, conflict is inevitable and needs to be managed with tact and poise. Those lacking in emotional intelligence often handle conflict by evading it, easily conceding, or resorting to passive-aggressiveness.

Quick to Make Assumptions and Defend them Fervently

Those with low emotional intelligence are inclined to make snap judgments and are highly susceptible to confirmation bias. They often only pay heed to information that aligns with their viewpoint, ignoring factual evidence that contradicts it, since their primary goal is to prove themselves right. They may passionately defend their beliefs without considering new information.

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Frequently Feel Misunderstood

Due to their inability to communicate their thoughts and feelings accurately, people with low emotional intelligence often feel misunderstood. Miscommunication is a frequent occurrence. Even those with high emotional intelligence recognize that their communication may not always be clear and precise, no matter how much they practice.

However, their awareness of this issue allows them to remain open to feedback and quickly determine whether they're being understood. If their message isn't clear, they modify their approach and rephrase their idea until everyone is on the same page.

Struggle to Maintain Friendships

Maintaining meaningful friendships requires reciprocal effort, ongoing emotional support, compassion, and emotional sharing. For individuals with less developed emotional intelligence, these concepts may prove challenging. Those with lower EQ often struggle to express their emotions, making it difficult to sustain close friendships. They may rationalize this by convincing themselves that they don't need others and that they're perfectly fine alone.

Difficulty Handling Emotionally-Intense Situations

Individuals with low EQ struggle to cope effectively with emotionally-charged situations. They often avoid such situations to prevent further emotional distress. Despite the intensity of emotions, we all recognize their crucial role in motivating us to act, proving beneficial in their own way.

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