Experiencing rejection is a common part of life that everyone goes through. Although it is generally undesirable and often causes emotional distress, it is not unusual since we all face rejection throughout our lives, especially when we fail to meet others' expectations.
As rejection is a recurring part of life, it is essential to comprehend its strength, its essence, and learn how to handle its impact. There are two aspects to consider: interpersonal rejection and intrapersonal rejection.
Interpersonal rejection is when an individual is on the receiving end of social dismissal. This situation can be summarized as: “It's me versus the world.”
In contrast, intrapersonal rejection involves the person inflicting harm on themselves, a scenario primarily characterized by self-loathing. Both these forms of rejection can significantly influence a person's self-perception, particularly their self-esteem, and can disrupt the balance and harmony of social relationships.
Let's examine the psychological impact of both interpersonal and intrapersonal rejection.
The Psychological Impact of Rejection
Research indicates that the experience of rejection can affect a person's physical health, cognitive abilities, and emotional health.
For example, on a physical level, the perceived rejection from others can cause significant pain because our brain equates it to physical pain. Evolutionary psychologists propose that our bodies are biologically programmed to respond to rejection in this way to discourage non-conforming behaviour.
In terms of cognition, rejection can impair our intellectual and decision-making capabilities. This occurs because the pain associated with rejection can cloud our rational thinking. Emotionally, rejection can lead to feelings of anger or potential aggression when we are pushed aside by others. It can also lead to despair during crucial life events like transitioning schools or marriage proposals.
Rejection can also pave the way for depression and anxiety. The memories of past rejections often trigger anxiety, causing our minds to unconsciously look out for similar situations to avoid the same pain.
The Psychological Impact of Self-Rejection
Self-rejection, on the other hand, mirrors a similar story within the person's inner world. Instead of the narrative being “me against the world,” it turns into “me against myself.” Self-rejection manifests as a feeling of self-loathing and disconnection from oneself. Individuals experiencing self-rejection often possess distorted thinking patterns.
This could be a result of their youth, a traumatic event, or an unexplored life state. People subjected to self-rejection often feel anxious and insecure due to fear. They may feel that they are never good enough.
Most of the time, individuals who self-reject fear that they cannot form meaningful relationships and despise themselves for it. They may believe that they are so undesirable that they stop trying to improve themselves. Such individuals often lack self-love, which can hinder their self-care practices.
People's coping strategies for rejection vary. Some resort to self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse, while others may neglect their health – they may either lose their appetite or overeat, or neglect their personal hygiene.
